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5 Realities of Family Life |
Reality #1: Families come in all shapes and sizes
Some of us are lucky enough to be born into a big extended family, rich in history and tradition. Most of us are not. And we often watch these families with envy, wishing we had one like that. We also think, sometimes, that we can't have it because we are single, divorced, without children, or because we live too far from our "real" family. You don't have to be the perfect traditional family to feel like a family. There are single parent families, and spread-across-the-country families who are very close, and traditional families that are totally disconnected. It's not about "who" your family is, it's about "what" you do together.
Reality #2: We can plan for & create the kind of family life we want
You don't have to drift along, hoping it will happen. There are many things you can do to steer your family in the right direction. Some people think you can't force "these things", and they are right. You can't force it. But you can plant the seeds, add a little fertilizer and nurture it along. It is definitely possible to plan for and create the kind of family you want. You just have to understand how it works and be flexible. It's simply a matter of knowing what's worth spending time and money on and what's not.
Reality #3: We already know what to do
Most of us have an instinctive sense about what it takes to create family ties. We all take photos. We save the worn-out stuffed bear, the school papers, and the baby teeth. We plan lots of family get-togethers, and we try hard to make our loved ones feel special. No one tells us to do these things. We simply do them because we know in our hearts how important they are. The problem is that our modern, hectic lifestyles don't leave us the time to organize these memories and keepsakes in the powerful ways that can bring our families closer. And we are often misled by marketing and advertising. We spend time and money doing things that are not really important and often miss the opportunity to do the little things that make all the difference.
Reality #4: It's easier than we think
What we remember most fondly from our childhood days are not the lavish birthday parties or the expensive gifts, but the simple family events that are repeated over and over again... good smells... good feelings... good times... someone special spending time with us. The beauty of it is, it's less work for us. We don't have to come up with new and different things to do or things to eat, every time we get together. We can plan the same activities, use the same decorations, and prepare the same food as we did last year for every holiday throughout the year. It's what our family really wants.
Reality #5: It's never too late to get started
It's never too late to get started building family ties, even if your children are already grownup. Creating family ties is an ongoing, forever evolving process. There is no beginning and no end. We just keep making it better. You can easily start with your grown-up children, your grandchildren, or your nieces and nephews. We never stop needing that human connection. Establishing family traditions and strengthening family ties, with anyone, at any age, is a wonderful gift to give. |
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